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The Freaky Fangirl Frenzy - 6

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The Freaky Fangirl Frenzy: Part 6
by: cruzerchic123


Jeran groaned and blinked groggily as he saw stars still dancing around his head smiling happily, then realized his back was killing him. He shifted his eyes to see Armin, Kass, Rohane, Jacques, Sloth, Kanrik, and Garin all piled on top of his back.

Time for Alpha Blue to take action, Jeran thought. "Guys?" he called.

"Yeah?" Sloth's voice groaned. "Garin, man, you have to lose weight!"

"Yeah, right, a handsome guy like me?" Garin scoffed. "I got the good looks!"

"And I got a hernia," Armin's voice said, almost cracking a little.

"Alright, as your leader I just wanna say GET THE HECK OFFA ME!!!"

Everybody did as told. "Hey, I thought Armin was around here, but all I can find is this cardboard version of him!" Kanrik piped up, holding up a flat seemingly cardboard version of Armin.

"Uh, Kanrik?" Rohane said, typing a few numbers on his thankfully not squashed VirtuComputer.

"Yeah?"

"I think that IS Armin."

"Really?" Kanrik squeaked. He stared at the flat Armin, then said, "Yeah, he does have that sarcastic look in his eyes."

"No duh, numbskull," Armin said as best as he could in his current position.

"Hey, try sticking his thumb in his mouth," Sloth suggested, nodding at the cardboard fangirl magnet.

Kanrik did, lifting up Armin's arm, putting out the thumb, and putting it in Armin's mouth without too much difficulty. "Now what?" the Gelert asked.

"Blow," Jeran answered.

Kanrik did, immediately knocking Armin into Jacques.

"No, you idiot, I meant Armin blows on his thumb, not you!" Jeran cried, swinging his paw forward.

Armin did, expanding into a balloon. "Yeah, this is just perfect," Armin tried mumbling through pursed lips.

"Hey, I kept the blowgun and darts that the ninjas dropped," Sloth said, pulling out the bamboo pipe and a few darts.

Armin gave a muffled scream and tried shaking his head. "Eh, let's try it," Jacques agreed, shrugging.

BOOM!

"I hate you all," were the first words that came out of the (finally) original Armin's mouth.

"Aw, thanks," Kass said, grinning and patting him cutely on the head. Then his head snapped up. "Uh, yeah, where the heck are we?" he questioned nervously.

Everybody looked around. They were in some kinda cliche hallway, with sandy walls in a brick pattern and a sandy tiled floor with Wadjet, Geb, Anubis, Horus and other Desert Petpet tiles. On the walls, torches on the wall that were lit, a few cobwebs hung here and there, and there was a ledge down the hall.

"Hey, do you think there's treasure around here?" Garin asked, grinning and pulling out his scimitar.

"Dibs on the crowns and the pearls," Jacques said, stepping forward on a Weewoo tile and causing it to sink.

"Hey, wait, Weewoos aren't desert petpets!" Kass argued.

Rohane started typing madly on his VirtuComputer before it suddenly exploded, keys flying everywhere. "Uh, right now, I'm guessing it's a Mystery Island petpet," Rohane said.

"No, of course not!" Jeran scoffed. "It's a Meridellian petpet. Everybody knows that!"

"It's not Meridellian!" Kass cried, trying to smite Jeran on the head. "It's Darigan! Duh!"

Rohane was frantically trying to put his computer together. "No, no, no, NO!" the Blumaroo screamed. "It can't be broken! Without it, we're doomed!"

"The fact is that the Weewoo is a Krawk Island petpet and that the writer was so kind enough to wait while you all argue pointlessly before releasing some kinda trap because I stepped on a Petpet tile that wasn't a Desert Petpet," Jacques said, looking ready to punch somebody's nose.

As if on cue, a bunch of Cobralls dropped down from the ceiling and hissed. Sloth suddenly screamed to the expectations of Kanrik and began crazily blasting all of them, until there were none left.

"B-but there were Cobralls here just a few seconds ago!" Armin stuttered.

"I HATE snakes," Sloth muttered nervously through gritted teeth.

"But he stepped on a Weewoo tile!" Armin piped up, pointing at Jacques. "It makes no sense! Why would Cobralls drop in if Jacques stepped on a Weewoo - "

"Shut up, will you?" Jeran interrupted. He grabbed a torch and went down the hall. "Follow me."

They went near the ledge, careful not to step on any tiles that had any non-Desert Petpets on them, until they reached the ledge. Jeran got down on his knees and peered over. "Looks safe enough to jump down," the Lupe knight announced. "But let's not jump to conclusions yet. Rohane?"

The NQII knight gave a grim shrug. "My VirtuComputer's busted," he groused. "Until it's fixed, I can't tell what awaits us in here."

Jeran took a deep breath. Okay, he thought. Rohane's computer is broken, and down this ledge it looks crystal clear. Maybe we should just jump...

"Done looking down at nothing, Jeran?"

Jeran glared at Kass. "For your information, it could be booby-trapped," he said. "We need to wait."

The Eyrie rolled his eyes. "Wait? We've been waiting long enough. Let's go." Kass pulled out the twig he was carrying. "The twig demands it, and you must respect the twig."

"You must respect the twig," Jeran repeated contemptuously. "Respect the twig my aAAAH!!!"

He found himself almost falling down before Jacques yanked his tail and pulled him back up, at the same time both bumping into Kass and causing him to drop the twig, bouncing off the ledge...

...and getting impalled by spikes, which shot up from the ground and two from the walls slammed into each other.

"Well, your twig has proven itself worthy," Jeran said with a small smirk.

Kass however wasn't very happy. "B-b-but, my twig - " he stammered, lifting a claw to point at a few dozen slivers and bits of a leaf.

"There are about a million twigs in Neopia, Kass," Garin reassured him. "I should know. I've been under trees hiding from fangirls or with a hot chic and I've seen many, many twigs."

"Gee, thanks," Kass muttered sarcastically. "That really makes me feel a whole lot better."

"Ain't it the truth?" Kanrik agreed with a grin, giving the warlord a pat on the back.

"Don't touch me."

Jeran poked his sword cautiously on the ground, then yanked it back up as the booby-trapped ground and wall nearly disentigrated it. "Okay, men of the T.O.F.F.E.E," he said, standing up straight and resting his hands on the hilt of his sword. "We can't go down, or we'll be mashed into a bloody pulp, just like that twig. Rohane, have you fixed that computer yet?"

The other knight winced as the key E popped out for the umpteenth time. "I've managed to reconnect a few cords and use one of Sloth's bombs for a battery, but still no luck," Rohane reported.

"Make sure it doesn't explode," Jeran told him. "We're trapped right now until further notice. Does anybody have any suggestions on what we should do now?"

There was a silence that hung in the air, then Garin raised his hand. "Yes, Garin?" Jeran said.

"We could go across," the Usul replied casually.

"Uh, Neopia to the dumb blonde!" Armin yelled. "If we go off the ledge and onto the floor below, we'll end up shishkebabs, while the creatures that live here will ask each other 'Hey, is that red stuff spewing out of these guys gravy?' and bite our bones!"

"Thanks for the scenario," Jacques muttered, his face turning a bit green.

"No, seriously, we can go across!" Garin protested. He pointed forward. "See?"

Everybody turned. "Yeah, uh, you need to get your eyes checked, mate," Garin's Kyrii friend said.

"Hey, look! I found a bottle of Faerie Dust!" Sloth exclaimed, lifting up a bottle of pink, swirly stuff.

"Release it in the air and see what happens," Kanrik told him.

The green villain in black robes did. To their surprise a bunch of platforms, almost invisible, floated upwards from the dangerous floor below. "Cliche, cliche, and now we're in a platform game," Armin grumbled.

"Next to Kanrik, I'm gonna punch your nose," Jeran snarled, fangs bared.

"Thank you!" the thief said with a wide, toothy grin.

Alpha Blue didn't even bother. "We need to check if the other side is booby-trapped," Jeran added, pointing his sword across.

"Oooh, oooh, I have an idea! I have an idea!" Kanrik suddenly squeaked energetically, bouncing up and down.

"Anybody have any ideas?" Jeran asked.

"I do! I do! It's a good one too!" Kanrik piped up, still bouncing.

"Anybody?"

"Me!" the leader of the Thieves Guild screamed happily.

"C'mon, anybody? At least any kind of suggestion?"

"I do!" Kanrik said, waving his arms in front of Jeran.

"Anybody?"           

"I have an idea."

"Anyone?"

"Jeran, I have an idea."

"Any living thing?"

"Me, Jeran."

"Any non-living thing?"

"I said I have an idea."

"Anybody?"

"My idea's a good one too."

"Nobody?"

"Jeran - "

"You want something, Kanrik?" Jeran question, staring at Kanrik with a bored expression.

"Finally!" the thief sighed. "Okay, okay, hear me out. How about if we get Kass to fly across and see what's booby-trapped? Huh? Huh? Eh? Eh? Genius, no?"

Everybody just stared at him, then Kass asked, "How about if I fly across and see what's booby-trapped?"

"Excellent idea, Kass!" Jeran responded.

"But - " Kanrik said.

"Do you ever wonder why we all keep saying 'but'?" Armin asked.

"Blame it on the writer," Jeran groused. "She's the one who fell asleep on the keyboard in the middle of everybody on my back."

"It's still stiff!" Armin complained, trying to bend down to pick up something. "Ow!"

"Fall on my knee, grasshopper," Sloth suddenly said, bending down on a knee with his hands in a karate position.

"What?" the Bori asked.

Rohane poked Armin and he fell. Sloth quickly pushed Armin's head down, and a long scream echoed throughout the cavern they were in. Five minutes later Armin was standing up, grinning like an idiot. "Hey, my back doesn't hurt anymore!" he marveled. "That's it, you're becoming my official chiropractor!"

Kass flew back, landing in front of Jeran and Jacques. "Give me your report, Kass!" Jeran barked.

"Since when are YOU general?" the Eyrie snapped. "I should know! I WAS a general - "

"You want to play a game? It's called 'Obey me or be sliced and diced'!" Jeran growled, doing a fancy spin attack with his weapon.

"Sir! No booby traps reported, sir!" Kass said hoarsely, hastily standing up straight and giving a salute. "Area is clear and no enemies have been reported! Sir!"

"Thank you," Jeran said flatly. "Now you cross first."

"Hey, I can FLY!" Kass retorted. "What about Kanrik?"

"Nuh-uh!" Kanrik said. "I'm not THAT stupid!"

"Says the Gelert who ate a sock, thinking it was a fish," Armin muttered from a corner.

"Okay, Armin, you first!" Jeran said cheerfully, closing his eyes and grinning stupidly as he picked up the Bori.

"Wait, what?!" he heard Armin screech. "Good Borovan, Jeran, you better not throw me!"

Jeran opened his eyes and prepared to toss Armin on one of the invisible platforms. "Alright, Armin, if you go along with this, you'll get yourself a new code name!" the Lupe bribed.

"IT'S NOT WORTH LIFE!!!"

The knight lunged back, but suddenly he hesitated. Armin is right, he thought. Life isn't worth a new code name...or is it? Maybe I should go first, since I got rescued by a Faerie before and -

"Oh, for crying out loud!" Kass scoffed. He grabbed the small Neopet from Jeran's arms and threw him in the direction of a platform, while Armin wound up screaming...

...and completely missed.

"No!" Jeran screamed, his eyes widening with horror.

"Gimme something sharp!" Sloth demanded, grabbing Garin and Jacques by their shirts. The Usul pulled out a small knife. Sloth stuffed it in his Ray Gun, aimed, and shot, hoping to nick Armin's shirt and pin him to the floating ledge just in front of them, but he missed.

"EUREKA!" Rohane proclaimed as his VirtuComputer turned on. Suddenly he looked up. "Oh, no!" the Blumaroo cried.

Everybody watched with a sickening feeling as Armin's body hit the ground. Spikes from each direction (except the ceiling) shot out, impalling the young, little, cute Bori, who gave a bloodcurdling scream.

"NO!!!" Kanrik hollered, bursting into tears at the chilling sight. Garin, Jacques, Kass, and the rest stared speechless at the bloody sight of one of their previous members, so young and sarcastic, but nonetheless, a great member.

"Oh, man!" Jeran gasped, his heart stopping short and terror rippling through his body. "ARMIIIIIIIIN!!!"

To Be Conti -

"WAHAHAHAHAHA! How great can practical jokes be?!"  

"I can still hear his voice!" Kanrik sobbed, who was blowing his nose in Sloth's robe. Sloth's face turned greener than usual as he tried shooing him away.

"Me too," Jacques sniffed, leaning on the hilt of his pirate sword. Then his eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Waaaaaiit a minute!"

They all turned around to see Armin rolling on the floor, laughing while holding one of the bangles they used while disguised as women. "You all shoulda seen your faces!" he wheezed.

"OHMIGOSH!!!" Kanrik said, still crying as he suddenly hugged Armin. "YOU'RE ALIVE!!! EVEN THOUGH YOUR DEAD BODY IS OVER THERE INSTEAD OF HERE!!!"

"Bu - bu - bu - bu -" Kass and Rohane stammered, their fingers shaking as he pointed at the well alive Bori, and turned back to the spiked body. "H - h - h - how - ?"

Then they gave a groan as they both collapsed on the floor.

"I found this huge plushie that looked like me and stuffed it with ketchup packs, then added one of the communicating bangles inside it!" Armin giggled. "Genius, huh?"

Jeran stood there, completely lost for words. Then he finally opened his mouth...

"GENIUS?!?!" he screeched. The men that weren't unconscious covered their ears and backed very far away as Jeran yanked Armin's shirt, pulling him close, his golden eyes flashing dangerously. "GENIUS?!?! BY QUEEN FYORA, WE THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY OF OUR IMPORTANT SECRET CLUB RULES YOU JUST VIOLATED BECAUSE OF THIS FREAKIN' PRANK YOU PULLED?!?!"

"But pretty much the only important secret club rule in T.O.F.F.E.E is to avoid the fangirls at all costs," Kanrik pointed out.

"I'M NOT DONE TALKIN'!!!" the Lupe roared, giving a deadly glare at the Gelert.

"Eeep!" Kanrik winced, backing away even more. Sloth, Garin, Jacques and Rohane looked at him and shook their heads as a caution.  

Jeran turned back to Armin, who by now was wishing he didn't pull that stunt. "THIS TIME I'LL MAKE SURE YOU GET YOUR ACUPUNCTURE PROPERLY!!!" he bellowed, picking up the Bori. "ANY LAST WORDS BEFORE GETTING YOUR PRESCRIPTION?!?!"

"Uh, uh..." Armin stammered, then gave a nervous grin. "So what's my new code name?"

Bad answer.

Jeran gave his battlecry as he flung the real Armin. Fortunately for the screaming Bori, Jeran's anger blinded his concentration, so the aim was off and Armin bounced off all the invisible platforms, landing on the ledge across from where the others were at.

"I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU YET!!!" Jeran yelled, hopping forward.

"Get up!" Jacques said, punching Kass in the beak. Sloth smote Rohane's head before taking off after Jeran. The Golden Knight and Beta Hawk both jumped up, with Kass talking first.

"Ow!" he whined, his hands flying up to his beak. "By beak! You bunched by beak!"

"What did he say?" Garin asked Rohane.

"He said Jacques punched his beak," Rohane translated, starting to type furiously on his fixed VirtuComputer.

"Seriously, did that punch in the nose affect your brain?" Garin said, looking strangely at Kass. "Of course he punched your beak! Even Kanrik knows that!"

"I thought it was a nose!" the Gelert simply replied.

"I'b godda gill you, birate!" the warlord seethed, pointing a finger at the pirate Kyrii.

"And that?" Garin questioned Rohane.

"He said he's gonna kill Jacques," the Yellow Neopet explained.

"Later, Kass dude!" Garin said. "Jeran's gonna kill Armin if we don't stop him, and if we don't stop him it will take longer to get outta here! And I have twenty-seven dates on my schedule!"

They all jumped on the platforms, with Sloth restraining Jeran as much as he can. "A little help here?" the chicken-head groaned, gritting his teeth.

"Why nod jus' poid your way gum at Karen's 'ead?" Kass suggested.

"What?" was all Sloth asked. "I don't have any gum! Who's Karen? Who's Ed? OHMIGOSH, THERE AREN'T ANY FANGIRLS OR FANBOYS SEARCHING FOR US IN HERE, ARE THERE?!?!"

"He said why not just point your Ray Gun at Jeran's head," Rohane corrected.

"Because Jeran's really ticked off and that might cause the gun to go off because of how much he is struggling to kill Armin," Sloth said.

Jeran finally shoved Sloth aside and drew his sword, running over to where Armin sat up. "Prepare to die - " he started, but saw that Armin was looking up at something huge, shadowy, with two blue glowing slits...

...and it grinned.

"Oh, my, gosh..." Jeran said, his eyes again widening with horror.   

To Be Continued...(And yes, this is the real cliffhanger. XD *BRICK'D* *SHOE'D* *TOMATO'D* *ALARM CLOCK'D* *BANANA CREAM PIE'D*)
The whole falling-asleep-on-the-keyboard thing one of the chars mentions isn't totally false. I was so tired my arm fell on it and I ended up deleting 20 lines of nkbsudfhgskjh.

Then I decided to drink some Coke because of the caffeine. No offense or anything, but I hate the stuff. Don't like Pepsi either. :P The adrenaline kicked up and my twisted bloody humor kicked in. Guess where it did kick in.

And feel free to hurt me for this part. :XD:
© 2005 - 2024 Cruzerchic123
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RedRider333's avatar
Oh my gosh, if you weren't my hero before, yuo are now. XDDD